The True Story Of
by Yoshi X2
Summary: Is this Mario's real Life? Is he really who we think he is? Find out here! Rated for Drug references and possibly some violence later
1. Introduction

The True Story Of...  
  
Hello, and welcome to "The True Story Of...", A series of stories that tell what really happened in Mario's adventures. But first a little background...  
  
Mario is not really who we think he is. He is in fact a crazed Magic Mushroom Junkie who lives in Brooklyn with his brother Luigi, who is a computer repairman. Mario himself is unemployed. They have a cat called Yoshi and bluebird called Birdo. Luigi also has many pet turtles. Mario's brain has been so melted that he slips into these crazy trips which take place in the mushroom kingdom. Read on to find out The True Story Of Mario's Life...  
  
Thanks to Myself, For writing this, The Lilac Pilgrim for some(most) of the Ideas, Nintendo for creating Mario and co, and you people out there who read this. I love you guys!! (Especially me) 


	2. The True Story Of Donkey Kong

The True Story Of... Donkey Kong  
  
It was a fine day as Luigi strolled to his computer store. He was glad that he had finally managed to set up the ladder for decorating Mario's room, "I really should get that started soon," he thought to himself. He then realised he had left the ladders up. In Mario's room. With Mario in it. Alone.  
  
Back at home, Mario woke up after his nap and found his favourite monkey toy had mysteriously gotten to the top of the ladders, along with a peach. As usual, his imagination started to trip. (I want to point out that his mind is so warped he doesn't need mushrooms to trip anymore.)The ladders slowly became girders, the monkey became a gorilla, and the fruit became a woman. With a daring leap, he threw himself at the ladders crying "I'll-a-save you, Peach!!!"  
  
Luigi was running home as fast as he could, remembering he'd left some cans of cola on top of the ladders. "I hope Mario doesn't do anything daft...."  
  
Meanwhile Mario was trying to scale the ladders. He made them shake so much that the cola started to roll down. Mario saw this as the gorilla throw barrels at him. Filled with determination, Mario climbed even harder. When he reached the top he threw himself at the monkey. This caused the ladders to collapse just as Luigi ran in....  
  
Luigi ran in to see Mario lying on the floor with the monkey on top of him. "What happened?" he shouted. "Monkey take Peach up rescue I go want Mushrooms nowahhhhhslleepy!" Luigi had just administered a healthy dose of chloroform. "Ok, Time to sort out this mess...." He said. It is unclear whether he is referring to the ladders or Mario.  
  
Again, thanks to me, Nintendo, The Lilac Pilgrim and you guys. More coming soon!!! Next up: The True Story of...Super Mario Bros. 


	3. The True Story Of Super Mario Bros

The True Story Of... Super Mario Brothers  
  
After the mishap with the ladders, Luigi decided to employ a nanny to look after Mario. This nanny was old and short. She had white hair and Lots of red flowers In it. Her hair was big and curly. You know who Mario thought this was.(For all the dunces out there, it's Toad. If you didn't know that then why are you reading a Mazza Fanfic? Idiots...) Well, anyway, when Mario was hungry and asked for a peach, he was told that the biggest turtle had eaten it. So of course, Cue Mushroom Trip. Woooooooooooowowowowowowowowow.........  
  
Mario set out from his room to the far away turtle tank in the hall. Unbeknown to him, luigi had left the turtle in the bathtub and they had escaped. Therefore, through the Grasslands (His room with a green carpet) to the skylands (The shelves in his room), the desert (Sandpit) to undersea (the bathtub), the grass lands at night (his room with the lights turned off) to periodic showdowns with the biggest turtle (who luigi had named Boozer). He eventually got the turtle in the castle in the fish tank and killed it. He then took the peach and discovered that he couldn't breath. (It was a big tank, the brothers were rich). Consciousness ebbed away from him...  
  
Luigi came home to find Nanny fishing Mario out of the fish tank. "Mario did you kill Boozer again?" He asked. "Not boozer, Bowser!" Came the reply. "Well I guess we better buy a new one. I'll-no-WE'LL go tomorrow." Luigi went into the medicine cabinet to get the chloroform. "Hmmmmm... wonder If Doc Brown will give me something stronger than this...?"  
  
Well again, thanks to me, Ninty, Lilac and you lot. Next update coming when I feel like it. I think I'll do "The True Story Of Super Mario Bros. 2". Arrivedecci all!!! 


	4. The True Story Of Super Mario World

The True Story Of... Super Mario World  
  
(Yes, I know I said I would do Mario Bros 2 but I couldn't think of a good story for that. In the end up it was a choice between Mario Bros 3 and this so I chose this obviously. Oh, and sorry about the delay in getting this  
chapter up. I kinda forgot about it...)  
  
Well, after Mazza had killed Boozer, Luigi was so smitten with the 8 turtles in the pet shop he bought them all, as well as a cat, which he named Yoshi. Now obviously Mario was punished for his actions with the Old Boozer he was punished, but since the government prohibited steel vault doors in houses (Much to Luigi's disappointment) he had to make to with putting lots of locks on Mazza's bedroom door.  
  
Well, the next day when luigi left the house Mario noticed that his bowl of fruit had no peaches in it and looking out of the window which he had in his door for no apparent reason he saw Yoshi lock in a cat carrier thing. And, so his mushroom addled brain went to work... "That fiend Bowser" He thought "He must have put Yoshi and his friends in boxes and kidnapped my love, Peach yet again! I'll put a stop to that!" So climbing out the window and into sewers. Mario soon arrived in the bathroom. Climbing out of the toilet Mario smashed the cat carrier, freeing Yoshi and raiding the fridge for a supply of mushrooms Mario set of on his greatest (he thought) adventure yet...  
  
"Doctor Schweitzer, will Yoshi be alright?" Luigi asked the vet, his eyes full of concern. "It's hard to tell." he replied. "There has never been a recorded case of a cat eating 20 turtles whole before. I want to keep him in and run some tests, come back tomorrow." "I'm gonna kill Mario." Luigi said through gritted teeth as he left the surgery. "Am I destined never to have a pet for more than a week?" He past a newspaper stand with a story on the rise in animal cruelty over the last ten years. "That's about when Mario started his mushroom problem..." He thought...  
  
Wel,l hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm looking for suggestions for the next chapter so if there's any game you want me to do just say in a review and  
the game that I think is the best I'll do. Thanks for reading!!! 


End file.
